Ever wanted to be a zombie? Thought so. Me too, but until now, I never dared believe that such a dream could be mine. It’s not in the bag yet, though, so maybe I just better back up and explain what I know at this point.

A few weeks back I was goofing around on Facebook (yep, I do that, and I do it very well, thank you!) when I saw that one of my friends had added a group to her favorites. The group was called “8 Wheels of Death,” and it had this kicky little graphic with two skate wheels making up the number eight. Combining wheels with anything gets me interested, so I clicked on it. Lo and behold, what should I find but a group for “the upcoming top-secret Roller Derby Zombie short movie to be filmed during the summer of 2009” in my old college town. “What the heck,” says I, clicking on the “Join this Group” button. “I’ll keep tabs on it. Sounds like fun.”

A week later an announcement went up: “A round of auditions will be held Saturday, June 27, from 4-7pm in 9th St Park.” “Huh,” says I, “this might be interesting.” I didn’t take any action, though. I mean, me, get involved in a movie? They’d probalby need for me to be places and do things and – well, that could all get very busy and uncomfortable! I just noted it and went back to my usual Facebook sending of flair and putting up announcements of finishing writing my novel (BOOM! Didn’t see that coming, did you?!).

A couple of days after that a note goes out to everyone in the group: “We need a cool old car for a scene, so if you know of anyone who has one…” *Tom smiles wickedly and rubs his hands together over the keyboard, then begins pecking* “Dear Mr. Director, I may have something you’d be interested in…”

A day later the ’67 Chevelle has been conscripted as the “cool car” for a pivotal scene in the movie. “Hmm,” thinks myself, “maybe I should go ahead and goof off with this audition thing. I always wanted to be one of the living dead.”

I send the director an email: “Glad the car will fit your needs. I don’t think there’s any abuse it can’t take, and it’s kind of beat up anyway, which sounds like that’s what you want. I’ll be heading down for auditions this weekend, too. I’m not dying for a part or anything, but I just thought it would be a fun experience.” At this point it’s prudent to mention that I’ve never done any acting in my life, unless you count grade school spring pageants, and I don’t.

Days later I’m gassing up at a station as I’m about to head out of town for the audition. My brother calls from the drag strip to give me an update on the car’s performance, the same car that will be in the movie. All is good. In fact, he’s doing rather well with it. I congratulate him and say, “I gotta go. I have to gas up. I’m going down to Bloomington to audition for a zombie movie, and get this: they want the Chevelle to be in the movie!”
“Really?” says my brother. “That’s kickass!”
“I KNOW!” I say, grinning like an idiot. I’m getting more excited now that my brother is on board with the idea as well. I gas up and hit the road.

Ninety minutes later and I’m down at the park. I basically just wander over to the one shelter they have there where a few people seem to be headed. I guess that’s how these things come together.

I get up to the group, who are laying out papers and positioning something that looks exactly like a video camera. My powers of perception tell me that I have, in fact, picked the right group to wander toward (this assisted by the fact that there were no other groups in the area at the time).

I introduce myself, and everyone seems pretty happy to be there and happy that I’ve come out as well. They’re a little surprised that I drove 90 minutes for the audition, but I didn’t get the opportunity to tell them that there were no zombie movies auditioning in my town that weekend. (I let them think it’s because I love theatre so much.)

Since I am cool and think of you, my Awesome Readers so much, I had the foresight to bring my trusty Nikon. Behold the gallery o’ fun that makes up the first round of auditions for “8 Wheels of Death!”

I had a blast, and the Chris, the director, was very awesome in granting my request to read first, as I had to leave only about twenty minutes later so that I could drive back up north and play a gig. It was a full day, but one hell of a good time overall. Before I left, Chris told me that it looked like I would probably have a good chance of getting a speaking part in the movie. I read for the part of “Chester” the EMT, who’s pretty much a straight guy, but I also read for “Buck” who is a “smarmy redneck” who comes to a bad end. I’m a little hoping I get to be Buck, because he’s kind of a jackass, and I could SO have fun with that, because I’m so NOT that guy. (It would be the perfect excuse to wear a T-shirt that says “Chicks Dig Me” or “#1 Lover” or something equally tasteless.)

I will certainly keep you all updated on this one. Shooting takes place in July and August with plans to have it done and ready to show to the public by Halloween of this year, which is a pretty short turnaround on a movie, in my mind. It’s a zero-budget thing, and very campy, but I hope it comes out fun and wacky and entertaining all the same. From the folks I met it looks like it’s going to be a good time!

Oh, yeah, and that part about the novel? For those of you who have just tuned in, I started my first ever novel attempt on November 1, 2008 during the wonderful caffeine-infused frenzy that is NaNoWriMo. I got 76K words written within 30 days, which was more than enough to hit the challenge goal of 50K, but not enough to finish the story. My goal in entering NaNo was to completely write the rough draft of a novel, beginning to end. Since it wasn’t finished, I plodded along, and sometimes it seemed like I was never going to finish the damn thing, but the day finally arrived. The day after my zombie audition, June 28, I sat at a table in a funky little cafe near my home, typed the final sentence, sat back, took a sip of my latte, and clicked “Save” once and for all. 92,165 words, and they are all done and all mine.

Stay creative, kids.